But Before We Get to That…
A good novel should leave you with something.
Near the end of 2016, a friend lent me a book she thought I’d enjoy. I hadn’t read an actual book since I started doing drugs—let alone since I had gotten sober.
She said, “it’s by the guy who wrote Fight Club.”
“The movie?” I asked.
She said, “the book starts with someone hijacking a plane, dooming it to crash. The page numbers count backwards.”
I took the novel to be nice. I had no intention of reading it.
Weeks later, I had some time to kill. The book hadn’t moved from where I’d left it on my desk, so I picked it up. It was better than twiddling my thumbs.
I was sucked in before even finishing the first page.
The thing read like a Dead Kennedy’s song. Quick, full-force, and to the point. I didn’t know books could be written like that.
That book left me with something. A seed. A seed of inspiration that I carefully watered year after year, with different books, different songs, just all types of different art. Eventually, this seed sprouted into an idea about some idiot kid named Kurt. And now, eight years after the fact, that idiot kid has his own story.
Now for the Contest
If you’ve been following along with us here, we’ve just reached the halfway point in my novel Still Life of Desert Animals. And, while I vainly hope that it may one day leave people with its own seeds of inspiration, I’d like to try and do even more.
So for the month of October, I’m opening up my Substack referral program.
This means that I will personally reward you for sharing The Spittoon and Still Life of Desert Animals with the world at large. All you have to do is use the “Referral” button below, or the “Share” button on any of my posts to get credit.
Whether it’s Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, Myspace, or even your Club Penguin account; each share gets you one step closer to three potential prizes. Don’t worry, I’ve made it much easier than those MLA scams we all had to do in elementary school. Here’s the breakdown:
Two Shares: Short-Story Feedback
Sometimes you need someone to help you see the forest for the trees. I sure know I do. So if you’re a writer, I’ll read and provide feedback for any short story of your choosing (short meaning ~2500 words, but I’m flexible.)
Three Shares: Stickers
Who doesn’t like stickers? This collection of custom Still Life of Desert Animals stickers will make any laptop shell ten-times cooler. And a big thanks to
for letting me steal this idea.Five Shares: A Custom Shirt
Straight from the book itself. These custom, one of a kind Still Life of Desert Animals T-Shirts will look great hanging from the handle of your elliptical or desk chair. Plus, you get to choose your animal! Can you say collector’s item?
Note, there are a limited number of shirts. So get them quick before they’re all gone!
But wait, there’s more!
In addition to the feedback, the stickers, and the shirt, the top sharer will earn a carefully crafted care package from me to you. Check out the Leaderboard to see where you rank!
Much like the rest of my life, this is an experiment. I don’t know what I’m doing or how this is going to go, but I’m glad you’re all here. And I hope you continue on this ride even if it ends up coming off the rails a little (what’s life without a little risk?)
It’s at this point that I must issue a long overdue apology to my friend. The one who lent me her book all those years ago. I still have it. In fact, last week, that guy who wrote it—Chuck Palahnuik—was in town, and I had him sign it for me.
So I’m sorry, I don’t think you’re getting it back…how about some stickers and a custom shirt?
Further Details
You have all of October to rack up as many shares as you can.
Once you reach a tier you’ll receive an email requesting a shipping address. If you’ve won a shirt you can request what size and animal you want.
There are a limited number of shirts available for order
Once Halloween is over, I’ll tally the winners and get to work on shipping.
Limited to the United States.
can't wait to earn me some of them sweet looking stickers!