Grab yourself a Styrofoam cup of coffee, find the closest metal-folding chair, and let’s get this out of the way:
“I’m Matt, and I’m an addict.”
To those initiated, after hearing these words you’ve probably learned to expect one of two things. Either,
you’re about to hear another humdrum, Hallmark story full of recovery buzzwords, or
you’re about to hear someone’s entire idiosyncratic, unadulterated history that even Adult Swim may find too inappropriate or far-fetched.
This is not to knock number (1). In fact, it serves an important purpose. You wouldn’t want to tell your Grandma about that time you shit a gallon of liquid mud into your only clean pair of jeans while fast asleep on some stranger’s porch. Sympathy is relative. God knows that both alcoholics and addicts need as much of it as they can.
But for those of us who have shit a gallon of liquid mud into our only clean pair of jeans while fast asleep on some stranger’s porch, we aren’t necessarily compelled by number (1) stories—not always. Despite their place in the universe, I’d much rather hear about how many places you’ve been kicked out of instead of how many years sober you have. For me, a messy, embarrassing, or absurd story is much more valuable (bonus points if they’re all three).
And this doesn’t just go for addicts and alcoholics. They shouldn’t get to have all the fun. Some of the most important things that makes us human are all the uniquely stupid or odd things we do no matter how stoned or how sober we are (I once knew a man who would end all his thoughts with a different quote from one of the Ancient Greek philosophers). The tics that make us, us, also make us human. And when I share my own absurd anecdotes (whether to a close friend, or a room full of strangers), I tend to receive an even more outlandish story in return. Our differences bring us closer together.
Now that everyone’s initiated, you are correct to expect a number of number (2) stories from me. Barring any acts of God, I will deliver my first next week. However, I don’t plan to limit this newsletter to just those. While they may make up the bulk, there are plenty of other things I’m sure I will post
to break it up (yes, even number (1) stories). Because, at the end of the day, stories are an important currency, and no matter the denomination, they’re meant to be exchanged. I would encourage the same of anyone else. Share your stories. Share them, whether that be here, on social media, with a close friend, or with your Grandma.