“Have you seen my necklace?” Verona asked.
The wall between us muffled her voice. “The one that looks like an eyeball. Do you know where it is?”
My head rang. I closed my eyes, but it didn’t help. Nathan’s stared back. Bright blue. They started changing, shifting through the entire color spectrum like Verona’s tubes of paint. Lizard green. Vomit yellow. Who Killed Me? Probably the same people sitting outside Verona’s apartment in that dark sedan. Probably the same people who were going to kill me. Kurt Baker. Roadkill red.
“Hello?” Verona’s voice echoed from some other room in the apartment.
Maybe I could just stay here, in her apartment, until she graduates. Let this all blow over and start fresh in Paris.
“Kurt?” Verona asked.
Her voice twisted into someone else's. Amity’s. You know…you’re a lot nicer than you used to be. Then, Spit’s. You’re a good friend, ya know?
“Hey,” Verona said, walking into the room. “Are you okay?”
Shit. What was I supposed to do?
Verona took a seat next to me. “What’s going on?” she asked.
An engine backfired from the street outside, and I jerked my head up at the window.
“Kurt?” Verona’s head followed as I got up and crossed over to the blinds.
It was still there, the sedan. Dark and impenetrable. Was anyone actually still inside? It hadn’t moved since the detective came last week.
“Can you please talk to me,” Verona begged.
I let the single blind I was holding drop. “Can I borrow your car?” I asked.
A beetle crept across the ridge of the front door panel. It took its time, readjusting after each step. I rang the bell. The bug’s antennae tilted back and forth in response to the noise, but it didn’t stop moving. I looked over my shoulder, down the street. Empty. Verona’s car sat parked an entire block away. The dark sedan hadn’t followed me when I left, but I couldn’t be too careful.
Footsteps clicked from inside the house, and whoever was on the other side unlatched the lock. As the door swung open, the insect slipped, falling against cement.
“Well look who it is,” Clair said, looking me up and down. Her hair was tied into a fountain of a ponytail, and the insect scurried between a pair of dirty boots. “Come on in I guess.”
The house was dark and empty except for the TV. Some old guy with perfect salt-and-pepper hair gave the weather forecast while Clair took a seat on the couch, pulling her laptop close. The carpet next to her feet was still stained.
“How’s Amity?” I asked, gesturing at the mark on the floor.
Things are going to be heating up soon, the weatherman said.
Clair clacked away at her keyboard. “She’s gone.”
And much sooner than you think.
The stain looked like it was starting to spread. My stomach flipped.
“Gone…where?” I asked.
Clair sighed. “I don’t know, Kurt. Homeless shelter? Salvation Army? Rehab? Mexico? She just left.” Clair shut her laptop. “Is that why you’re here?”
I sucked the scar on my lip. The clock on the wall said it was 5:44 PM, and I was trying to remember why I actually was here in the first place. On TV, a giant cartoon sun appeared, hovering over the weatherman.
“Nathan was talking to the police,” I blurted out.
Clair didn’t say anything, and the cartoon sun grew larger and larger until it covered the entire screen.
Now, don’t get too worried. It’s not summer yet after all.
“A cop told me,” I continued. “Nathan…uhh…he told them all about me.”
Clair starred, nodding up and down. “I think the new suppliers found out and…uhh…had him…well…” The glow of the fake sun bounced off Clair’s face as I spoke. “I think Jimmy’s working with them too. I think he did something really bad.”
“Shut up, Kurt,” Clair interrupted. “Okay? Just shut up.”
Coming up next, the cartoon sun said. What’s the best kept secret for preventing skin cancer? The answer may shock you.
“You knew,” I whispered. “Didn’t you?”
Some sort of perfume commercial came on, and the carpet stain bled towards me like a clogged drain. Clair leaned forward until her ponytail hung limp over her face.
What do you desire?
“You…had him killed,” I stammered. The stain lapped at my feet. “You and Jimmy…you killed him.”
“What?” Clair’s ponytail slapped back. “No. Jesus, Kurt. I just kicked him out.”
My vision telescoped in and out. The actress in the commercial raced her luxury convertible through my tunnel vision. And the pool of blood rose to my ankles. My knees.
What are you afraid of?
“Yeah? And what about Jimmy?” I asked.
Clair got to her feet, storming through the rising red liquid like it wasn’t even there. “You’re blaming Jimmy?” She pressed her nose against mine. “Jimmy? The person who has actually been here for us this whole time. What about you, Kurt? Huh? Where have you been?”
The actress drove off the edge of a cliff.
Perfume by Chienne.
“As far as I know,” Clair said, taking a step back, “Nathan only told the cops about you. We’re all just fine here. Okay? So just…go back to your new home and worry about yourself…like you do best.”
Bubbles gurgled up through the pool of blood as if Clair had pulled a plug. A draining whirlpool that pulled me with it—towards the front door, away from this place.
“And don’t show your face here again,” her voice echoed, and I turned to leave.
Even after the door shut behind me, I could still hear her. Clair. Frustrated and crying. The window next to the door was cracked open. Was it like that when I got here?
Right beneath the window, smeared against the porch, was another stain. A black mark that looked like wet tobacco.
I crouched over it. A dead bug? A beetle? It’s guts packed into the tiny cracks in the concrete. Roadkill red. Someone must have stepped on it.
From where I was crouching, Clair’s cries came through louder. Crisp and clear. I could even hear the TV. The best kept secret? Carrots. They’ll turn you red and orange all over, but at least you’ll be safe from the sun.
The dirty boots that had been here when I first came were gone. Someone had been listening to us.
It tasted like dog sweat, the blood. It streamed around my tongue, filling up the back of my throat, and I couldn’t stop swallowing. Half of my bottom lip flapped against my chin. Split open. Nathan stood over me, fist still clenched.
“You ruin everything, Kurt!” Amity cried from somewhere I couldn’t see. “You promised you wouldn’t tell him!” My vision blurred as I coughed blood back up my throat.
The hot liquid came out of my nose. Red salty snot that leaked right back into my mouth. “You don’t even care about her.” I tried to shout this at Nathan, but it came out as a series of groans. My jaw was locked open.
“Shut up, Kurt. Okay? Just shut up!” Nathan’s dirty boot connected with my sternum. Something cracked. The sound echoed through my chest.
I turned onto my stomach, trying to push myself up.
That’s right, run away like you always do.
Nathan stepped around me, his boots stopping right under my chin, as Amity’s crying turned into howling. He got on his knees, pressing his face against mine. Blood drooled from my mouth, and collected in small ponds on the floor. My vision focused in and out.
Jimmy would never have done this to me.
His face bloated. Purple lumps that crested into black scars. I couldn’t see his eyes. The sockets had swollen like giant sausages. Who killed me, Kurt? My body shook. I couldn’t hold myself up any longer. Kurt? Nathan clicked his teeth together like a chirping insect. Kurt?
“Kurt!” Verona shook me awake. “Are you okay? You’re screaming.”
The clock said it was 3:44 AM, and Nathan was gone. Amity was gone. The covers on Verona’s bed slid down my chest as I sat up. “Yeah,” I said, biting my lip to make sure it was still intact. “Sorry.”
Verona clicked on a lamp. “What the hell is going on with you?” She sounded like a loaded gun. “And don’t tell me it’s nothing.”
The room was silent. No TV. No radio. The A/C wasn’t even running. Verona’s eyes drilled holes into mine. “Are you cheating on me?”
“What?” I said. “No.”
“Then what is it?” she asked. The lily on her desk had started to wilt. “You’re running around town, avoiding my questions. What am I supposed to think?”
A shriveled petal fell away from the flower. When did I last change the water?
“It’s just…” I stammered. “I don’t know how to speak French.”
“What?” she fired off.
How could I tell her the truth?
“I guess I’m just scared…about Paris,” I said. “I’ve never even been out of this town. What if you leave me for someone who knows what Rigger brushes are…or… or what about someone who likes silent movies as much as you?”
Her breathing slowed and her eyebrows pinched together. The safety clicked back on in her voice. “Oh, Kurt.”
She leaned forward, wrapping arms around me. “I love you because you don’t care about those things.” She smelled like fresh flowers, but I couldn’t focus on anything but the dying lily. “I love you because you’re you.”
How was I going to pull this off?
Verona pulled back, and held my face in her hands. “It’s okay to be scared, Kurt.” I tried looking away from her face, but she brought her head down with mine. “You shouldn’t keep all this stuff inside, that’s what I’m here for. Whatever comes up, we’ll deal with it together.”
Something pressed against the back of my eyes like a headache. Tears. They leaked out the corner and down the crook of my nose.
“Now,” Verona said, wiping the streak from my face, “can we go back to sleep? I have so much to do before the party tomorrow night.”
Shit. The graduation party. I forgot.
Verona kissed me before turning over and clicking off the light. Darkness filled the room, and I reached for her hand beneath the covers. Flecks of dried paint ran across her skin, pressing against my fingers like braille.
I could almost see a way out.
My eyes fluttered open and close as they adjusted to the dark. Everything was silent. Still. And just as I was slipping back into sleep, light beamed from the nightstand. A text message. I let go of Verona’s hand to look. It was an unknown number.
Say hi to Nathan for us.